Oh, boy here's another?!?!

This is another yearnful attempt "I Had Forgotten"-- I don't know if it's done; but as a writer I acknowledge no work is really done, but this is as done as it'll be for now.

I had forgotten
So many years I grew without
The smell, bitter and suffocating
Everywhere
In the living room clinging to walls and fabric
In the kitchen, the hall, the bathroom
I could stand it
Barely;
But in the bedroom where you slept
So neat everything was left
I hug your pillows and I can smell
The faint scent of your aftershave;
I walk in rooms and hear your voice
Not the kind I know by telephone
The other one, the one I listen when you speak
I grew without that too;
When you were here
How little you spoke
So many times I caught you
Brooding and silent in a cloud of smoke,
Your mind an ocean and decades away;
I touched your hand, an older version of my own
Manos de pianista,I remember you said
In your lap with my palm against yours,
Now our hands are closer in size
And I’m too big to sit in your lap.
Reasons become blurry with time
Momentos become discolored with age,
But there is one thing I remember still (…)